Funny jokes or stories.

Please share your funny jokes or stories that are of a Commando or military theme. Please use your good judgement as to whether your addition is appropriate for this site. Many thanks.

Scottish RSM walks into Chemist shop in full regalia. Puts a dried up and cracked French Letter from sporran on counter says to young girl stood there says, ?What can you do with that Lassie?? She takes it out back, returns saying, ? We can clean and oil it with new packet for 25p or you can have 3 new ones for 50p.? He rubs his jaw, put it back in sporran and leaves. A week later returns, puts it back on counter says ? The Regiments wants it repaired.?